We know from decades of taking guests on safari to expect the unexpected. We never know what's around the corner. We might encounter a massive herd of elephants crossing the road, or we may find a leopard sleeping in the branches of a tree. But sometimes, the unexpected comes in the form of a hilarious question from a guest on safari.
Whether the guest meant it as a serious question or not, these are the types of questions that make a game drive stand out for us. So, keep those questions coming. Hilarious or serious, we love interacting with our guests.
1. "What time do you let the animals out for us to see them?"
Well, before the gates open, the warden goes out and opens all the animal cages so they can walk around and tourists can see them. In the evening, getting them back into their cages is a challenge, but fortunately, the warden's name is Noah.
2. "Do you have the same moon down here in Africa?"
No, we have a different moon down here in Africa. Over there you have the Moon Over Bourbon Street. With questions like these, we see a Bad Moon Rising.
3. "Who feeds the animals in Kruger?"
We have no idea. There's a rule that says you're not allowed to feed the animals, so perhaps they just go hungry?
4. "Why must the elephants poop on the road?"
Why, indeed. No respect for other road users!
5. "Do cheetahs always eat meat? Are there any who are vegetarians?"
Well, there are cheetahs who eat vegetarians. Does that count?
6. "Is it true that the animals we see on our safari today are what we'll be eating tonight?"
Absolutely. The whole point of the game drive is to see where the warthogs are so we can send our chef out to catch one for dinner.
7. "Are the lions allowed to eat the impala?"
Absolutely not! There is a strict rule against eating any of the cute impalas. But we're struggling a bit with enforcement. Talking to the lions has not helped much.
8. "What time is feeding time?"
That is the question we all have. And the good news is that feeding time is all the time!
9. "Who cleans all the animal poop off the road?"
We do have a special crew just for that. They are known as dung beetles.
10. "Why can't zebras and impalas mate?"
Yes, why can't they? They should be allowed to! Life is so unfair!
11. "Does the sun also rise in the east over here?"
No, no, no, here in the southern hemisphere, everything is backwards and upside down. While your sun rises in the east and shines during the day, our sun rises in the west and shines only at night. Also, we have to walk on our hands, otherwise, everything seems upside down to us.
12. "Do the animals understand French?"
Only in Uganda, where French is one of the official languages. Here in the Kruger Park, we have to translate everything for the animals.
13. On the Garden Route: "Can we book a day tour to Victoria Falls?"
From the Garden Route? Well, let's see. Johannesburg is a two-hour flight from the Garden Route, and Victoria Falls is another two-hour flight from Johannesburg. Including check-in times and airport transfers, that's about six hours of travel time, each way. Or 25 hours by road.
14. At an ostrich sighting: "When are they going to bury their heads in the sand?"
I'm sure it will be any moment now. And I'm going to do the same.
15. About the large rock formations that naturally occur in the Kruger Park: "How many bags of cement and how long did it take to create that rock feature?"
Unfortunately, the designer decided to make it without cement, so it took ages.
16. A question to one of our travel consultants about what to pack for a safari. "Should I buy a pith helmet like the one Melania Trump wore in Kenya on her Africa tour?"
Oh yes, absolutely. You can't visit Africa without your pith helmet. And don't forget your breeches and your monocle.
17. "Is buffalo riding a popular sport in South Africa?"
Of course, it is. We've won the World Series every year since humans began riding buffalos.
18. "Can you take a group photo of me with those lions over there?"
Well, sure we can. Look, the lions are already grinning for the photo!
19. On a tour of the Panorama Route: "Who planted all those flowers?"
Ah yes, the mystery of the Secret Flower Planter. One of our favourite mysteries of all time. Was it Solomon, in all his glory?
20. "Have you ever seen a rhino stamp out a bushfire?"
Yeah, sure. I can never get my fire started in the bush. Some angry rhino would always come and stamp it out. Along with other myths and legends.
If you're a first-time safari goer or a safari veteran, please keep the questions coming. Our safari guides love sharing their knowledge of the bush with guests who are keen to know more about the wild and wonderful intricacies of the natural world. Immersing oneself in the African wildlife experience involves more than just ticking wildlife sightings off a wishlist. It's also about the companionship and shared laughter between guests and their safari guide.
If you enjoyed these hilarious questions from guests on safari, please take a look at our 20 Funniest Guest Questions on Safari blog post for more giggles.
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About the author
Dianne Kokkonidis was born in Johannesburg, grew up in the Transkei and spent years exploring Europe. She returned to South Africa to live on a farm in the Outeniqua Mountains when the call of Africa got too loud to ignore. She comes from a family of storytellers, so it's no surprise she's now found her way into writing about one of the oldest stories known to mankind - the lure of Africa.