The Most Important Secret to a Great Safari: The Guide (Part 1)

Safari guests often assume the lodge, the location, or wildlife density will determine the experience. Those things matter, but the guide determines how the safari unfolds in real time: how safe and calm you feel, how much you learn, what you notice, and whether ordinary moments become meaningful or forgettable.

Safari guides come in many different moulds, shapes and sizes. As with any profession, you have a number of true experts; world-class professionals who know their trade, understand the bush, work well with people, and are absolutely amazing at every aspect of their job.

On the other extreme, there are also guides who are woefully below par: uninterested, abrasive or unprofessional, incompetent or just plain lazy. Some are enthusiastic and try hard, but they are young and inexperienced. Perhaps they have the minimum guiding qualification, get minimum wage, and speak minimal English.

Some are lacking in the basic skills required: a deep understanding of the bush and wildlife, and, just as importantly, good people skills and communication skills.

Fortunately, really poor guides are rare, because of the quality of guide training in countries like South Africa and Zimbabwe. But average guides are actually quite common in Africa's safari industry, and any veteran safari tourist will tell you that truly excellent guides are few and far between.

To illustrate the difference a guide makes, I will tell you two stories. The stories are made up, but it's not total fiction. Most of the incidents or experiences in these stories are things I have personally experienced, at some time or another, at one lodge or another, with one guide or another. Maybe not all at once like in my stories, but these things can all happen on your safari.

In part one of this two-part blog, I will first introduce you to the safari guide from hell.

Getting stuck with a poor guide can really ruin your expensive, once-in-a-lifetime safari trip to Africa. You've saved up and finally booked your trip. Perhaps you chose your operator or lodge based on price, a special offer, search results, online reviews, or a travel agent recommendation. You have high expectations.

Then you arrive at the lodge and meet your guide. At first, things are okay. He seems friendly enough. You struggle to understand him with his limited command of English, but you tell yourself you'll probably get used to the accent. You can't wait for the first game drive.

You get to the Land Rover at the time you were given, to find the guide is not there yet. The other guests (a group of four who've been on safari for three days already) were early and took up the front rows, leaving you to jump in the back row of the vehicle (appropriately called the jump seat). You don't mind. You're a humble person.

You start chatting and find they are not very enthusiastic about the guide. He's running late. Again. He doesn't say much, and when he speaks it's hard to understand him. This is why they come early to sit in front.

Twenty minutes later the guide arrives (having finished his phone call to his girlfriend), mumbles an apology about not being able to find his cooler box, and because he's late he doesn't bother with the usual pre-drive safety briefing and rundown about what to expect during the next three hours.

Without a word, he races off to try and catch up with the action, forgetting to warn you about an overhanging branch around the first corner, which almost decapitates you.

You want to ask something, but the guide is on the radio to find out what other guides have already spotted. He hears something you can't make out and speeds up. You fly over a bump without warning and almost get launched off the vehicle. You look across at your partner, both thinking the same thing: a shaky start.

Still, your spirits are high. You are finally here. You are on safari.

Suddenly you spot an animal; some kind of buck. Your first wild animal in Africa. You shout for him to stop while you fumble for your camera.

"Ah, yes, impala," he shouts back without slowing down. "Don worreee, you will see maaany of deeez ones…

You try to get a better glimpse as you race past and manage a blurry photo. "Sorry, what was the name of that animal again?" you ask, but he's on the radio and doesn't hear you. The guest in the front row helps you out.

"Impala. Lots of them around. We've seen so many we really don't want to stop for them again. Sounds like the guide is going after a lion sighting so we don't want to stop for other animals now, in case we miss the lion."

But I want to stop for other animals too, you think, just as your partner spots a wild-pig-type animal. The speeding vehicle frightens it into the bush before you can ask the guide to stop.

"Warthog," the safari veteran in the front row opines helpfully.

Your guide has clearly not considered that this is your very first safari drive. Or perhaps he is more interested in keeping the existing guests happy because they are staying several nights and will probably leave a bigger tip.

Soon your frustrations are almost forgotten as you arrive at the lion sighting. A real wild lion. You can't wait to hear the guide explain all about lions, but he pulls up close to another vehicle and starts chatting to the driver in a language you don't understand. They joke while guests snap pictures of the sleeping lion.

You take pictures too, and end up asking the guest in front of you questions, because he seems more knowledgeable than the guide.

Eventually another vehicle arrives behind you. That guide turns around to face his guests and enthusiastically starts explaining about lions in a quiet voice. His English is excellent and his story is interesting, and you can't help turning around to listen.

Fifteen minutes later your guide's radio crackles. After listening, he announces you have to leave because another vehicle is waiting to come in. This makes no sense because there seems to be plenty of space, but he doesn't explain further. He drives away, saying there are elephants nearby.

As you strain to hear more of what the guide behind you was saying, you find yourself wishing you were on the other vehicle.

Soon you encounter a giraffe. "Here we have another giraffe," the guide says matter-of-factly, oblivious to your enthusiasm. No further information.

You want a good photo. From the back row you don't have the best view. The guide doesn't notice this and doesn't ask whether he should move for a better position. Being on your first game drive, you don't think to ask.

He leaves the engine running, spoiling the peace and your video sound. Less than a minute after stopping, and without warning, he drives off again while you're still filming. You're too nice to say anything. You hope you'll see another giraffe soon.

You exchange another frustrated look with your partner.

In a clearing you come across elephants: a small breeding herd feeding and moving toward the road along a bush path. The guide stops right across the path so the elephants are coming towards you with their babies. This is going to be fantastic, you think.

This time he switches off the engine and explains some things about elephants. It's difficult to understand him. Apart from broken English, he mumbles and looks away while he talks.

The next moment you get the fright of your life as one elephant trumpets loudly and charges toward the vehicle, which is blocking its path. The guide shouts at the elephant and slaps the door. The elephant stops and rejoins the herd.

Good, you think, now he will move the vehicle. Clearly we are in the way.

"Stupid elephant," the guide mutters. But he makes no effort to start the engine or move the vehicle. He makes no effort to calm his guests or explain what happened and why. He seems irritated, pulls out his mobile phone, and checks for signal to text his girlfriend.

During the drinks stop, the guide stands off to the side to smoke, but the smoke still blows your way and spoils the clean fragrance of the bush. He checks his phone again and makes no effort to make conversation or get to know you.

You're not the complaining type, but the whole experience so far has been ruined by your guide. You decide to have a word with the manager when you get back.

The manager is sympathetic but unable to put you with another guide. He promises to have a word. The next day it becomes clear he did; your guide didn't appreciate it. For the rest of the safari he remains unfriendly, uncommunicative and cold, and his behaviour hardly improves.

By the end of the trip, you deeply regret that you got stuck with this guide from hell.

In part 2 of this blog, I will tell you the other half of the story; what it's like to have a phenomenal safari guide. But to end this sad tale on a positive note, here are some practical tips to reduce the chances of this situation and what to do if you're unhappy with your guide.

1. Do your homework. If possible, try to find reviews about the guides. Operators who are committed to consistently high standards tend to employ and train better guides because they understand the damage poor guiding can do to their brand.
2. Communicate expectations early. Even during the booking process, mention priorities and preferences. You can request a specific guide, but understand it's not always possible due to leave, scheduling, or existing bookings.
3. Build a relationship early. Be friendly. Let the guide know your interests and what you are hoping to see.
4. Don’t be shy to speak up. If you did not hear clearly, ask them to repeat. If you cannot see, ask them to move the vehicle. If you need a bathroom break, dont suffer in silence. If the engine is running at a sighting, ask politely to switch it off. If you see something you'd like to stop for, ask.
5. Ask lots of questions. Most guides love sharing knowledge, but they repeat the same explanations often and don't always remember what they have covered with you. Your questions help steer what they explain.
6. Raise issues diplomatically. If you have issues, have a quiet, friendly word with your guide first, away from other guests. Most people prefer direct constructive feedback.
7. Escalate when needed. If talking privately doesn't solve it, discuss the issue with the lodge manager. If there's no manager, call head office or the emergency number and explain the situation to your travel consultant or the boss.

This story is an exaggerated, fictional, worst-case narrative of what could happen if you have a guide from hell (and a difficult fellow guest to boot). Rest assured that this is not common, and you are not likely to have this kind of safari experience. So don't be put off from your upcoming safari. In Part 2, we'll paint the brighter side of the story: what it looks like to be guided by a truly exceptional professional.

Planning a guided safari and want guiding quality to be a priority? Speak to an Africa Safari Specialist about trips where the guide experience is a core part of the safari, not an afterthought.